Bad Ass Mofos, toughest athletes, Terrell Owens, Lawrence Taylor, Pete Rose, Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Randy Moss, Tiger Woods, Mike Tyson

The Top 10 Bad Ass Mofos in Sports History

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You know that show on Fox Sports "The Sports List" that features some hottie reading some cliché Top-10 list, complete with moronic C-list actors from loser shows like "The Simple Life" or whatever opining about sports as if they know squat? Well, this ain't that. This is better. We may not be hotties. We may not be loser celebrities whose agents can't get them a real acting gig. We're just guys. Who know sports. And here's our list.

The Top 10 Bad Ass Mofos in Sports History is just what you'd expect it to be. Guys who talked the talk, and then proceeded to walk the walk. Guys with big mouths who backed it up. Guys you probably hate when they're playing your team, but you'd kill to have on your team. Guys who told you they were gonna beat your ass, did it, ripped your heart out afterward, and ate it before your eyes as you died right in front of them.

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Jack Tatum
"You always wanted them
to be okay." Sure, Jack.
Jack Tatum
Before Ronnie Lott, there was Jack Tatum. Nicknamed the "Assassin," Tatum hit guys so hard, stuff started flying off them. In his sophomore year at Ohio State, he knocked out a running back and a tight end in the same game. He had a habit of standing over guys after he laid them out. Tatum might be most famous for his role in "The Immaculate Reception" -- it was Tatum who hit the Steelers' John Fuqua so hard on Terry Bradshaw's last-second desperation pass that the ball popped out and into Franco Harris' hands for the game-winning touchdown.

"I always wanted to hit someone hard," Tatum said. "And if they got hurt, that was just part of the game. But you always wanted them to be okay." Yeah, right. In a 1978 preseason game (preseason!), he turned New England WR Darryl Singley into a quadriplegic, a hit he has never apologized for. "It was a clean hit."

Terrell Owens
TO talks more junk than anyone,
but he always backs it up.
Terrell Owens
Probably the current holder of the crown. Does anyone talk more than TO? He has some of Ali's flair for absurd self-promotion, but without the class. The Sharpie. Tearing down a banner on the sidelines. Standing on the star at Texas Stadium. Doing sit-ups for TV crews. Jawin' out your QB on live television on the sideline, making nice, then jawin' at him again for months afterward. It's a level of arrogance so ridiculous that unless you are damn good, you're not a Bad Ass. You're just a fool.

But TO backs it up, probably better than anyone in sports today. He most likely doesn't make the list if he didn't put on such an incredible performance in last year's Super Bowl. Playing with pain, predicted to not even suit up, the guy comes in and makes big catch after big catch -- nine of them, in fact, for 122 yards -- as if he hadn't hurt his ankle at all. And despite none of us believing him, he told us all he'd play. That's some kind of Mofo.

Bob Gibson
We're guessing knockdown.
Bob Gibson
Probably the last of the complete game intimidator pitchers. Can you imagine anyone pitching nine complete games in the World Series again? Nine! Gibson also holds the record with seven-consecutive World Series victories.

And there's that Bad Ass Mofo intimidator thing. Gibson simply owned the inside part of the plate. He once called his three best pitches "knockdown, brushback, and hit batsman." In 1963, he broke a rookie batter's collarbone with a pitch. Bobby Bonds once hit two home runs off Gibson in his first two at-bats, and feared for his life in the third: "I knew I was gonna get it." Gibson was quoted in "Late Innings" by Roger Angell, "I guess I was never much in awe of anybody. I think you have to have that attitude if you're going to go far in this game." In our current era of batters intimidating pitchers, Gibson makes you wonder about the pitchers mound, "Where have all the Bad Ass Mofos gone?"

Lawrence Taylor
The best linebacker ever?
Debatable. A Bad Ass Mofo?
Without question.
Lawrence Taylor
There was never a linebacker like him, before or after. The image of LT standing at the end of the line of scrimmage before the snap might be the most perfect depiction of football's recent evolution. Every team seeks to fill that spot with that kind of player. Inevitably, most fail. Because they can't fill it with Lawrence Taylor.

The man had a Machiavellian mean streak that Ty Cobb would have recognized. In a recent "60 Minutes" interview, Taylor said he'd send hookers to his opponent's room the night before a game to keep them up all night, make them lose sleep, soften them up. Bill Belichick once said LT's wildness was rooted in a "total disregard for his body." Or other people's bodies. The famous Joe Theismann leg-break on Monday Night Football almost seems, in hindsight, inevitable. Taylor was going to do that to someone, someday.

He played in pain so often the coaching staff had to hide his helmet to keep him from doing more damage. He partied hard…too hard. The drugs and the relentless pounding he put himself through probably shortened his career. And for that, every QB in those subsequent years that Taylor might still have been playing -- perhaps to this day -- should thank his lucky stars.

Pete Rose
Cooperstown may be a long
shot, but he made our list
Pete Rose
Probably the current holder of the crown. Does anyone talk more than TO? He has some of Ali's flair for absurd self-promotion, but without the class. The Sharpie. Tearing down a banner on the sidelines. Standing on the star at Texas Stadium. Doing sit-ups for TV crews. Jawin' out your QB on live television on the sideline, making nice, then jawin' at him again for months afterward. It's a level of arrogance so ridiculous that unless you are damn good, you're not a Bad Ass. You're just a fool.

But TO backs it up, probably better than anyone in sports today. He most likely doesn't make the list if he didn't put on such an incredible performance in last year's Super Bowl. Playing with pain, predicted to not even suit up, the guy comes in and makes big catch after big catch -- nine of them, in fact, for 122 yards -- as if he hadn't hurt his ankle at all. And despite none of us believing him, he told us all he'd play. That's some kind of Mofo.

MIchael Jordan
If posterizing someone was
the only gauge of an athlete's
Mofo-ness, MJ would be #1.
MIchael Jordan
Being the best basketball player in history, from the most trash talkin' era of the sport, probably guarantees your spot on the list. Jordan single-handedly elevated the dunk to the most ubiquitous non-verbal expression of Bad Ass-ness in sport. A dunk before Jordan was a graceful thing, a Dr. J expression of form. After Jordan, it was, well, Bad Ass without the talkin'. The tongue hangin' out. The impossible acrobatics. And Jordan talked his share of smack, too. The image of Jordan walking down the court after an endless list of clutch shots is just as complete with his lips flappin' as it is with a stare down.

Plus, a guy who retires -- three times -- and comes back clearly is some kind of Mofo…let alone one who also tried his hand at professional baseball. Every time he came back, it was like, "Okay, kids, guess I gotta show you all how to play this game again." And like all good Bad Ass Mofos, there's a mind-game angle that takes MJ to the next level. Jordan got cut from his high school team, and it stuck. "Whenever I was working out and got tired and figured I ought to stop, I'd close my eyes and see that list in the locker room without my name on it," Jordan said, "and that usually got me going again."

Jack Lambert
Lambert had it all: the mean
streak, the nasty rep, the classic
quotes and the legendary grill.
Jack Lambert
Ever wonder who said those famous words, "Quarterbacks should wear dresses"? That was Jack Lambert. The famous Sports Illustrated cover photo of Lambert without his front teeth said it all. This was the toughest guy in football.

Lambert was so mean that, when the Steelers missed a field goal against Dallas and one of the Cowboys decided to gloat about the miss, Lambert slammed him to the ground. He would lurk over the center and stare at the QB like a wolf ready to pounce. He had a particular taste for Cleveland Browns QB Brian Sipe, who Lambert hit so hard, so late, so many times, Pete Rozelle had to call him in for a meeting. "Brian has a chance to go out of bounds and he decides not to," Lambert said later. "He knows I'm going to hit him. And I do. History."

In a sport where tough linebackers are the rule, Lambert is in a class by himself. The four Super Bowls, the ability to dominate on a defense full of dominators. And those missing front teeth, which prompted the nickname "Dracula." Can't get more Bad Ass than that.

Ty CobbA middle infielder's worst
nightmare. Ty Cobb Bearing
down on him, spikes up, trying to
breakup a double play.
Ty Cobb
The stories are endless. Cobb goes in high, spikes the second baseman. Cobb fills his spikes with razor blades. Cobb beats up a fan. Cobb beats up a groundskeeper. Chokes a groundskeeper's wife. Cobb's a bigot. Cobb's a drunk. Cobb beats up a butcher for selling him bad fish. And the numbers are staggering, records that are almost a century old now and still look like they'll never be eclipsed.

Perhaps the genius of Cobb's Bad Ass Mofo-ness is that he was the first to understand the secret weapon that Ali would deploy against Liston. An opponent who looks otherwise unbeatable fears nothing so much as an insane person. Cobb allowed the rumors about razors in his spikes to get into fielders' heads. It softened them up. Cobb once said, "My whole plan on base was to upset batteries and infields," he explained. "How? By dividing their minds, by upsetting and worrying them until their concentration was affected. I was always looking to create a mental hazard." Cobb may be the most flawed human being on our list (among many), but that he must be near the top of the list is unquestionable.

Larry Bird
He may not look have looked
like much of a Bad Ass, but
that's part of the reason
Larry Legend was such a Mofo.
Larry Bird
When the Celtics were at their prime in the mid-80s, Tommy Heinsohn's color commentary in one game summed it up: "He will kill you." Bird took sadistic pleasure in identifying an opponent's weakness and exploiting it, over and over and over again, and then waving it in their face. All those step-back three-pointers when the game was already won. The Bill Laimbeer attitude before Bill Laimbeer made it annoying. All while looking like the most awkward guy on the court…to be that un-athletic, and still be that Bad Ass, is a special kind of Mofo.

Even when he softened his image with those Magic Johnson commercials, he still had a mean streak. One game in LA, Magic couldn't play due to injury, and after every single shot Bird made, he would look Magic in the eye as he sat on the bench. The epic showdown between Bird and Dominique Wilkins in Game 7 of the 1988 Eastern Conference Semifinals was as Bad Ass Mofo as it gets. With Dominique attempting to take over the game, Bird scored 20 in the fourth quarter to help the Celtics win at home.

Even as his career succumbed to chronic back pain, Bird stayed true to form. One game near the end of his career, some loser said in the paper that he'd shut down the "old man." Bird responded, "I'll score 40 on him." He did. In a playoff game in Cleveland, as Bird lay down on the sideline unable to play, the crowd shouted, "We Want Bird! We Want Bird!" My buddy and I, watching on TV, looked at each other and said, "Oh, no you don't."

Muhammad Ali
Cooperstown may be a long
shot, but he made our list
Muhammad Ali
The Ultimate. No contest. He raises the bar so high, many athletes can't even make the list. Ali was a Bad Ass Mofo from day one, chasing Sonny Liston around with a cane, calling him a "big ugly bear," complete with the irony of calling himself "pretty" to take it to that next level of absurd Bad Ass-ness. "He's too ugly to be the world's champ! The world's champ should be pretty like me!" And of course, there's the poetry, taken to a level that we can't imagine anyone even approaching today. "Clay comes out to meet Liston, and Liston starts to retreat. If Liston goes back any farther, he'll end up in the ringside seats!" He proceeded to destroy the man. And that was just his first fight with Liston.

After Ali knocked out Liston in round one of their second fight, genius flowed from the man's mouth, "If I said I would knockout Sonny Liston in one minute and 49 seconds of the first round, that would hurt the gate." After changing his name from Cassius Clay, he punished any fighter who refused to use the new name. With his fists. "WHAT'S MY NAME, UNCLE TOM?!" Ali demanded of Ernie Terrell in the ring, over and over, after every monster blow.

When he faced Joe Frazier, Ali entered the realm of perfect Bad Ass-ness. "Ain't he ugly? When I fight him, I'll kill him. I'll whip him. He's too dumb to whip me." Losing that first Frazier fight didn't shut Ali's mouth up the second time around. "It'll be a killa, a chilla, a thrilla, when I get the gorilla in Manila." He won that one. Ali summed it up with this finger-wagging zinger. "I'm young, I'm fast, I'm pretty, and can't possibly be beat!" That combination of domination, swagger and artistry demands that Ali tower over this list.

Honorable Mention

Dick Butkus
Legend. Bad Ass Mofo. In college, Dan Jenkins of Sports illustrated called Butkus “a special kind of brute whose particular talent is mashing runners into curious shapes….” Miami Dolphins QB Bob Griese admitted that the mere sight of Butkus across the line of scrimmage made his knees buckle. Butkus once said, “I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately, unless, you know, it was important…like a league game, or something.”

Roger Clemens
"Yeah, I'm pointing at you,
Mike!" Problem?
Roger Clemens
The longer Clemens pitches, the stronger the argument that he's the best pitcher in baseball history. And the more batters who have to worry about the high hard one. Just ask Mike Piazza, who Clemens has beaned, yelled at from the mound, intimidated, and thrown broken bats at. Bob Gibson must be proud.

Ray Lewis
Let's see…won a Super Bowl, and beat a murder rap. Sounds like a Bad Ass Mofo to us. Best linebacker in today's game, but we've got linebackers with multiple championships on this list, and Butkus can't even crack the top 10. Lewis may slide into the top 10 if he can get multiple rings like Lambert and LT.

Albert Belle
That stance at the plate was made for television – the angry look on Belle's face directed squarely at the pitcher's eyes, the way he almost reared up on his back leg as he started to swing the bat. When he tried to break up a double play by literally pummeling Brewers' second basemen Fernando Vina, who foolishly stood in the baseline, a brawl ensued. Belle threw a ball at a fan in the stands, corked his bat, unleashed a tirade of profanity on dainty reporter Hannah Storm, chased after kids who egged his house…the list is endless. Just don't call him Joey, for your own safety.

Randy Moss
Dominant, and utterly full of trash talkin', smack throwin', arm wavin', butt swingin' Bad Ass-ness. Moss might get into the top-10 if Super Bowls are in his future, although in an era where you've got to compete with TO for both rings and Bad Ass-ness, that might be tough.

Vinnie Jones
Not “The Microwave,” Vinnie Johnson of the Pistons, but the soccer player who set an English soccer record by earning a yellow card five seconds after kickoff. Hard to get a soccer player on a list like this, but Jones is known as the “hard man” of soccer.

Too Classy to be True Bad Ass Mofos

Jim Brown
Brown was the best, but he
also had class. Well, on
the field, anyway.

Jim Brown
This one was tough. Brown is the standard by which all running backs are measured. Bad Ass Mofo factor? Huge. Did hard time, sure, and was something of a womanizer, has that James Brown throwing-a-woman-through-a-window thing going on, but when he played, Brown was the epitome of professionalism. Hard to imagine the man ever, EVER, trash talking or showing you up. Brown had the gall to summon Ali himself to a summit meeting of black athletes in Cleveland to “rule” on Ali's sincerity in avoiding the draft. “We've questioned him, and we believe him to be sincere." Now that is one classy Bad Ass Mofo.

Tiger Woods
No doubt a dominator, but man, does the guy have class. Tiger's probably the classiest dominator of all time, actually. Hey, another list!

Nolan Ryan
He comes close solely because, at the age of 46, he put Robin Ventura in a headlock and proceeded to beat the snot out of him when Ventura, 20 years younger than Ryan, dared to charge the mound in 1993. But the guy is just too nice. Too many pharmaceutical commercials after the fact.

Too Freaky to be True Bad Ass Mofos

Mike Tyson
Once upon a time, Tyson
was one Bad Ass Mofo. Now,
he's just a freak with a lisp.
Dennis Rodman
Someone from the “Bad Boys” Pistons era has to be here, and Rodman is the one. Don't even talk to me about Bill Laimbeer…poser. Throws punches like a girl. And as for Rodman, we're sorry, but if you put on a wedding dress at any time in your career, you're just a freak.

Mike Tyson
Bite off a guy's ear? That's just freaky. Besides, Ali in his prime would have simply destroyed the guy, would have been flappin' his lips the whole time, probably throwing in poetry that would've confused Tyson.

Hey, wait a minute. No hockey players?! Let the debate begin!